I can never understand him.
Maybe I never will.
I can't even understand how I can hate him so much and yet at the end of the day, tell the world that I have a great father.
I can never understand myself either.
Maybe I should.
It's a case of the most frequently complained topic revisited. People have been ranting and raving about not being able to communicate with their folks.
I wish we could understand each other more. I know verbal cues are useless. It's the non-verbal cues that matter. But I can't bring myself to show any forms of affection to someone so estranged. Too estranged.
Too distant.
Maybe I never will understand the old man in my lifetime.
I don't fancy how I will understand when I become a father.
I know I won't be such a fucked up father to my son.
I won't give him a good mindfuck every now and then, throwing out convoluted thoughts packaged in neat wrappings called "advice".
I don't need any of that.
Fuck it.
