You see, sounding rather negative in the projection of things is merely a means of preparing for the worst. PR 101, you prepare for the worst while hoping for the best. Murphy’s always been my best friend. Always been, always will be.
I am merely an optimist learning to be practical in this realistic world. To carry on organizing outings despite being aware of the daunting prospects of poor attendance and no-shows. Instead of accepting things as they are like most people do, and submitting to the fact that everyone’s busy with their own lives and will not bother to turn up. If I were really so bitter about everything, I won’t have gone on to suggest a meet up, would I?
Life’s less-than-kind experiences may have left some of us feeling disillusioned. To that end I plead guilty. Weary about the idea of finding that special someone to spend the rest of your life with, at a tender age of twenty-something. Perhaps that’s not a good way to describe it. Perhaps a better way to put it would simply be, both sides are probably not ready for an arrangement such as marriage yet.
Most men (secretly or not) would want their wives to stay at home and stay out of the world of temptations, once they’re married. To take care of affairs at home and tend to the kids. But at this age, unless there’s backing from parents, it will be largely unwise. How would a middle class family relying solely on the man’s income expect to live comfortably? I cannot fathom the idea of facing the same someone for at least 40 years starting from the tender age of 25. Neither can she I’m sure. Because at a certain age, certain things you just cannot expect a guy to be able to provide.
At the basic level is security. In multiple senses of the word.
Financial security: unless there’s a pot of gold in the family stronghold, most guys won’t be able to be the provider that most of us are programmed biologically to want to do. To feel useful and prove our selves worthy to our mates and folks.
Emotional security: while it is mutually beneficial to be in a long term relationship where you put each other on the priority list, you cannot put aside the thought of having fun out there once in a while. There lies the great temptation to party till the early morning before returning to a fretting other half who felt deserted for one night while you were expending the better part of your youthful energy on the dance floor and inevitably catching the attention of some nubile chick.
So why try so hard, to decide upon someone only to have your heart broken when she flies out of your reach after deciding one day that she deserves better? At this age, no one can promise anything. Correction, at this time and age, nothing can be set in stone anymore. It’s much too easy to hit Control Z in life with seemingly less impact than yesteryear, even the stigma of single parents and divorcees being slowly diluted with help from drama serials that insidiously entrench eroding values into our thoughts.
My heart goes out to you at this moment, if you’re troubled by the end of a “good thing” and it’s causing insomnia and that unstoppable leakage from the tear ducts. When you finally get a grip on yourself, these words will make sense - You deserve better. Much better.
Be more practical, be more careful with who you hand your heart to, but before the elements become right for mating season, why not face affairs of the heart with more optimism, more wariness, more flamboyance and aim to derive more pleasure than pain out of each other’s company?
In other words, can we keep it casual?
